Balance

Main Entry: Balance
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: A stable, calm state of the emotions. The composition or placement of elements of design, as figures, forms, or colors, in such a manner as to produce an aesthetically pleasing or harmoniously intergrated whole. Mental steadiness, habits of calm behavior, judgment, etc.
Synonyms:
aplomb, collectedness, composure, coolness, equanimity, imperturbability, imperturbableness, nonchalance, poise, sang-froid, self-possession, unflappabilitycompensative, compensatory, equalized, equanimous, equilibrant, equipollent, equiponderant, harmonious, isonomic, libratory, neutralized, stabilized

A Confession

Sometimes I scroll through various blogs because I like to be inspired by other people's creativity. This morning, I stumbled across something that delighted me. In fact, I thought it to be completely profound. It was this statement: " Stop defining yourself by your most recent mistake. Don't be defined by your words, and let your words be few."
It made me ask myself the question: How many times a day, do I repent for something I said or thought, and then refuse to let go what God has forgotten?
I believe it is difficult for our finite, human minds to comprehend how God can forgive us, especially when we rarely have the capacity to fully love as He does unconditionally. Because of sin, we have conditions. Those conditions build walls instead of tearing them down. Jesus didn't come to earth build walls, but to build relationships.
What is one truth about Jesus that is hardest for you to comprehend? How do you think you would react or feel if you were able to understand everything about Him?
Today, I am confessing my doubts that I have harbored and the resistance I have felt towards God's unknowable nature.
If you are one of those people who defines yourself by your mistakes, remember that you can be restored, or established for the first time. No matter what we've done in the past, it cannot keep us from God once we seek His redemption. It can't even disqualify us from ministering in His wonderful name. Amen.

Hands

If I could tell the world just one thing, it would be that we're all okay. And not to worry, cause worry is wasteful and useless in times like these. I won't be made useless, I wont be idled with despair. I will gather myself around my faith, for light does the darkness most fear. My hands are small I know, but they're not yours, they are my own and I am never broken.

Poverty stole my golden shoes, but it didn't steal my laughter. And heartache came to visit me, but I knew it wasnt ever after. We'll fight, but not out of spite; for someone must stand up for what's right, cause where there's a man who has no voice, there I shall go singing.

My hands are small I know, but they're not yours, they are my own and I am never broken.

In the end, only kindness matters. In the end only kindness matters. I will get down on my knees and I will pray. I will get down on my knees and I will pray. We are God's eyes, God's hands, God's mind, We are God's eyes, God's hands, God's heart, We are God's eyes, God's hands, God's eyes, God's hands, God's hands.

The Critical Spirit

"Instead, we will lovingly follow the truth at all times—speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly—and so become more and more in every way like Christ."
Have you ever encountered a person that just feels that they are an expert at evaluating others? They strive to seek people out and give an opinion, whether it is welcomed or not. In this post, I am going to answer some of my own questions about what it means to have a critical spirit and the way it affects others. I guess that we never really know just how we look through other people's eyes unless they choose to tell us. But the truth still remains, that we can always be sure of how we look in the eyes of our Father. If the church is the body of Christ and He fills the body, then it would be correct to say that He also directs the body in it's movements, inspires it's wisdom, and supplies it's strength. He guides the body into truth, sanctifies it, and then empowers it for witnessing. Because this is the truth, the church that is managed by men alone instead of governed by God, is surely doomed to failure.
A ministry that is college-trained, but not spirit-filled cannot work miracles. The church that adds more and more committees and activities , but neglects prayer might be large in attendance and noise, but it labors in vain and spends all of it's strength resulting in nothing. The real work of a church depends on the power of the Spirit. The presence of the Holy Spirit is vital and central to the work of the church. This same Spirit that I know, moves outside and beyond the church's set aside time for service and ignores the clock. My Bible tells me that apart from Him, wisdom becomes folly, and our own strengths become weakness. The church is called to be a "spiritual house" and an example of Christ-likeness.
Miracles are the direct work of His power, and without miracles the church cannot live. My carnal mind has argued with the subject of miracles for years, but it is the Spirit of God that convicts. Education can make people civilized, but it is being born of the Spirit that saves us. The energy of our flesh can run a rummage sale, organize a dinner, and raise money for a cause; but it is the presence of the Holy Spirit that makes the church the temple of the Living God.
Over the past few weeks, I have encountered so many people that have more faith in the world than they do in the Holy Spirit. That critical spirit is choking the life out of our church, and what I am praying for tonight, is that we get back to His realized presence and power. I am longing to see the breath of God turn death into life and turn our dry bones into mighty armies. And by faith, I know He will.

Last Lecture

I am no longer dreamless. This is what I realized about myself after watching Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture. The guy is amazing. Here he is, standing up in the face of pancreatic cancer and certain death and his focus is helping others to realize their dreams.
As I reflected on his words, I started to think about the fact that I have had many dreams during the course of my life, all of which have changed due to circumstance. When I was in high school, I wanted to be a police officer. I even went to the police station to "shadow" a detective for a day. I watched too many movies that made it look easy and I thought I would be good at it. When I graduated, I didn't want to go to college. So, I didn't do anything but waste time. After bartending and trying out numerous other career paths, I decided I wanted to be a teacher. Yes, it’s funny to me now, but this “dream” carried me all the way to college where I never wanted to go and I studied English and focused on Creative Writing. After I prematurely quit going to college, I was hit with the stark reality that there was no job called “World Saver.” So, I gave up on myself.
Fast forward 5 years, and you’ll find a 28-year-old pastor's wife and mother of one beautiful baby girl. I think about my dreams now and whether or not they are still attainable. Only now, they have changed all over again. Over the past two years, I have been learning more and more about the ways that the LORD has gifted me. One of those gifts is compassion. I have recently decided that I am going to enroll in classes this fall at Jefferson. I am planning to take some prerequesite courses there to get accepted into Trinity School of Nursing.
I am not quite sure what birthed this new desire in my heart, but in the grand scheme of things, I just want to care for people and I want more than a job that's just a paycheck.
When I listen to other professionals that complain about their jobs that they've worked for 20 and 30-years, I feel sick to my stomach. To me that sounds like a prison sentence with no chance at parole. I would never want to sacrifice time with my family to work in a job that I hated just to pay the bills. It's just not that important to me. To be honest, this new dream is just the first step to what I hope is a lifetime of ministry opportunity. One day, I would love to obtain the skills to take nursing in a missional direction. Until then, I'll keep dreaming about it and using the opportunities that I have to make it happen. The human plight has inspired me to be a "world changer". I'll leave that "world saving" business up to God.

Good Intentions

Loving people is more than an emotion. If our minds don't support our emotions in caring for others, then our feelings of love will thin out into just good intentions. Loving others is often inconvenient. We need the strength of our mind to help solidify our commitment to other people. Otherwise, we will become one of the multitudes reciting, "I meant to do something, but I just never got around to it." Each of us might do it differently, but we are all called to invest in the lives of others. After church today, I was listening to some of the hardships a friend of ours is facing, and I thought of this verse:
"Consider one another in order to stir up love and good works." Hebrews 10:24
This friend just recently went in on a partnership deal to buy, own, and renovate a manufactured housing community. Most of the people that are living there are doing so in the poorest of conditions. Not only because of the place itself, but because of the ways in which they choose to live and how their community has been cared for in the past. As he described the situation to me, I listened and prayed silently to myself. In his frustration, I could see his good intentions being twarted by anger and disappointment.
He asked, "where am I supposed to even start, there's so much to deal with? "
When Jesus saw the multitude, He was moved with compassion for them. Why? Because they were lost. He desired that they receive freedom and deliverance from whatever troubled them. We too, have to desire to see that same deliverance for those we are trying to help. We can care for others intentionally. Maybe they are struggling with issues that we have never had experience with before, but if we purpose in our hearts to love them and care for them because we desire to, we can understand their situation from a different perspective. By gaining this understanding, we also gain access. Access to new ministry, people, and most importantly, God's grace.

Happy Mother's Day

My mom has a plaque on her wall that reads: "A mother holds her children's hands for awhile, and their hearts forever." On May 10th, I celebrated my first Mother's Day. Actually, I was pregnant last Mother's Day, but I figure since she wasn't born yet then it doesn't count. I think it's funny how people devote an entire day to the celebration of one particular person or thing. This year will be Mike's second Father's Day because Abigail was born on June 16th, one day before Father's Day. He likes to joke that he has one up on me. As I sit here and write this post, Abigail is eating her cheerios that she dumped out onto the floor, in between her bouts of babbling. I'm glad I ran the sweeper today. It seems as though being a mother has turned out to mean so many different things that I become overwhelmed at times. Not really overwhelmed at all the things I have to do, more like overwhelmed at the thought of this little person that can't rely on herself at all. Instead, she looks to us to feed her, bathe her, play with her, protect her, and love her. I think about how she's not just going to understand things on her own, that we have to teach her. That may sound like a simple thought, and for those people who are already parents and have been for awhile, they've probably thought the same thing at one point or another. It doesn't matter how many times I tell her that she can't climb up on the bookshelves because she does it anyway. She's also had two black eyes, numerous finger cuts, and last week her face looked like she got attacked by a wolverine. Still, she remains fearless. As for me, sometimes I feel like I may have a heart attack because of her fearlessness. I guess that's all just part of being a mother so to speak. What amazes me the most is God's grace through this season of our lives. We've prayed countless times for wisdom and understanding in the ways of parenting. We've prayed that our times of trial and error would not be harmful, but a learning experience. I know I see His grace the most when I am tired and frustrated with Abigail and she starts crying. I run to pick her up and comfort her because she needs that. His grace is enough in those moments, to calm me and bring things back into perspective...at least until the next time. I look at her, and I know that I can do this "mom thing". I look at her, and I see what happiness is.