Part The Waters

I'm tired of fighting battles. I am tired of the heap of unrealistic expectations that have been thrust upon me and my family. I am worn out. This is my prayer:

When I think I'm going under, part the waters Lord.
When I feel the waves around me, calm the sea.
When I cry for help, oh, hear me Lord, hold out Your hand,
Touch my life, and still the raging storm in me.

Abigail is...

Abigail is:
My goodness…simply beautiful…the stealer of the covers in the morning…the one who makes me smile…the puddle of yucky pee on the kitchen floor…the destroyer of a clean house in less than three minutes…the one hiding behind the shower curtain…the first to say, “amen”…a light in a dark place…the one with the sense of humor…an encouragement…the gardener...my favorite….at peace with herself…her Father’s joy…blessed…a ticklish little girl…fragile…grace…spinning, laughing, dancing to her favorite song…louder and louder…a lover of purses and mommy’s shoes…a prophetess…a helper with the laundry…a snotty nose…sticky fingers…sorry for hitting…a colorful artist on brand new clothes…a gift from God…a funny face…a bump on the forehead whenever it’s picture time…a lover of books and music…a worshiper…a lover of French fries even when they’re cold…highly favored…a fearless couch jumper…constantly loving…cranky at bedtime…one who is cherished…a world of new discovery…earnestly seeking…a good girl…a lover of pink toenail polish…flourishing…nurturing…delightful….a comedian…a crown to grandma’s and grandpa’s…a precious life…delivered…saved by the power of love…an answered prayer…a beloved child…growing up

too fast.

A Revelation:

After an exhausting church board meeting tonight, I figured out that there are just some things I am never going to understand. But...for the first time in a year and a half, I know that I am right where I need to be. All of my questioning, searching, and wondering has led me to a place where crying out to the LORD has become first language. And after much prayer and fasting, my questions have been answered and I have found what I was searching for. My discovery was this:

Even here....His Hand will guide me.

One Nation, Under God?

Recently, I have decided to get over myself and try to understand politics. I guess my sudden interest can be blamed on my sociology class. My professor seems to think the entire class is made up of communists who are not aware that they are communist. There is more than one form of communism, but the specific form he is referring to when he calls us all "comrade", is the communism known as neo-Marxism; neo meaning "new".
So, with that said, I would urge you to turn the light bulb on in your brain and become a critical thinker as you read the definition below of what a neo-Marxist is.
AHHEM, here it goes...
Neo-Marxism - a form of communism in which the western industrialized democracies will never fall to a violent communist revolution, but will eventually succumb to the socialist ideology after a prolonged period during which the essential institutions of the west (gov't, law, currency, patriotism, religion, marriage, education, family, values, morals, etc.) are progressively undermined and eroded to the extent that the public loses faith and trust in the system and cries out for change. They are too materialistic and satisfied to risk their lives and property to engage in an uprising against the military. They also have a sense of loyalty to the very forces that constitute their oppression (gov't, capitalism) and they feel a sense of ownership and participation in those same forces. Because of this, the people of the west will engage in a slow and gradual adoption of the principles of Marxism, not realizing that its principles have been intellectually reduced. They will no longer recognize it as communism, but indeed view it as patriotism.
Go ahead...read it again, and again after that. Make sure you understand it. The reason I say this is because there is a Marxist running for president. His name is Barack Obama. Barack Obama claims to be a lot of things, one of which is a christian. I am having a hard time seeing the spiritual fruit in his actions that would lead me to believe that statement is the truth. There is a socialist running for president too. His name is John McCain. He'll do the same thing as Barack Obama, only slower and he'll take a little less of your money.
So, there it is. There is the gospel of politics I said I would never participate in. Feel privileged, I did it because it's important.

My Deliverer is the LORD

Have you ever had the privilege of seeing God change someone? Tonight was not the typical night, as we sat in our usual Wednesday night Bible study. I watched in astonishment as Uncle George shared his testimony, which I have never heard before. I am not even sure if he has ever publicly shared it at all. He told his story of how the LORD and His Mighty hand, delivered him from the clutches of alcoholism. Uncle George plays guitar and he loves bluegrass music. He played in the honky tonks in West Virginia and Ohio and that's when he began drinking his troubles away. Sounds like an old country song, doesn't it?
As I sat there and listened while he shared, I was deeply touched by his humbleness and the praise that he gave God for his deliverance. A little more than a year ago, Uncle George lost his beloved wife to cancer. He's been sad since then and it shows. When he talks about her, which isn't often, he gets that look in his eye that says he can hardly wait to be with her again.
I am thankful for Uncle George and thankful that through his sadness, he relies on the LORD for comfort. He knows that no one else can do a better job at understanding how he feels. And Uncle George still likes to play bluegrass music, only now, he plays it in church.

No Other Way

When your mind is a mess, so is mine
I can't sleep 'cause it hurts when I think
When my thoughts aren't at peace
with the plans that we make, and chances we take
They're not yours and not mine
They're just waves that can break
All the words that we say and the words that we mean
Words can fall short, they can't see the unseen
Cause the world is awake, for somebody's sake now
please close your eyes, can we please get some sleep
And know that if I knew all of the answers
I would not hold them from you
You'd know all the things that I'd know
We told each other, there is no other way
Well, too much silence it can be misleading
You're drifting, I can hear it in the way that your breathing
We don't really need to find reason
Cause out the same door that it came in, it's leaving
Leaving like a day that's done and part of a season
Resolve is just a concept that's as dead as the leaves
But at least we can sleep, it's all that we need
When we wake we will find
Our minds will be free

Philippians 4:13

I am starting school on Monday. After I finish the eight prerequisite classes at JCC needed to enroll, I will be entering Trinity School Of Nursing. Those prerequisites include Psychology, Sociology, Nutrition, Medical Terminology, Principles of Microbiology, Human Anatomy and Physiology, Business Math, and Chemistry. I must confess that I am intrigued by all of the horror stories that my friends in the nursing profession have told me, but I am not as scared as I thought I would be. When I went to campus for a webCT orientation, I got lost. When I finally made it to the right place, it seemed as though I was surrounded by a bunch of freshman that hadn't yet learned their social security numbers. Most of them had to leave the orientation to call mom. I wasn't sure if the feeling that was overwhelming me was one of being old and out of place, or just plain uncomfortable. I felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff and I was about to jump off. I fully admit that I am nervous, but I am up to the challenge and I am excited for the change and what it will bring to our family. And I know this much is true, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Global

"My hope is that, in the future, evangelical leaders will ensure that their social agenda includes such vital but controversial topics as halting climate change, eradicating poverty, abolishing armories of mass destruction, responding adequately to the AIDS pandemic, and asserting the human rights of women and children in all cultures and countries."

John Stott -rector emeritus, All Souls Church, London

The Enduring Truth

I am writing this post because I cannot sleep. I have been reading this book, the aforementioned UnChristian, and it has caused an overload of mental intake. Don't misunderstand me, I am not writing this post on the defense because I don't feel the need to defend anything that I believe in. I think my faith defends itself, but I am writing out of my forward-looking insight to alleviate that mental intake I was talking about. Let me start by saying that I do not associate myself with any denomination of
religion. I attended a baptist church when I was a child. When I was a teenager, I did not attend church at all. As an adult, I chose to attend a nazarene church. I believe in the Holy Bible as God's spoken word and I believe that everything in it is Truth. I am a follower of Jesus, not any man, doctrine, or religion. For those of you that need a category, that would make me a christian I guess. Also, let me say that I do not follow Christ because it seems like a nice set of life principles to live by. As a matter of fact, it's really hard. Some might ask me why then, do I follow a faith that is hard for me, or that is typically known for it's religion, rules, and standards. The answer is simple. I believe that Jesus is the only legitimate path to a dynamic spiritual world that goes far beyond my five senses. To me, and many others, christian faith offers a sophisticated, livable response to the nature of the world and how everything fits together. I believe that Jesus is the Son of God, and my only connection to God. I love Him because He first loved me.
I am 28 years old. My generation (not everyone, but statistically speaking) views christianity as sheltered, clueless, dull, flat, and lifeless. I can understand why. I regularly attend church and my husband is a senior pastor, and I see why a younger generation is having a hard time embracing the church. They have found that christians don't even speak on the same level as everyone else, that we use words that no one else uses or understands unless they go to church. People that are my age and younger are living in a very different world than people were twenty years ago. Young adults find it difficult to resonate with the vision of christianity, especially since our society is fast-paced and ever changing. The youth of today have lives that consist of a patchwork of diversity, perspectives, friendships, and passions. They are willing to try a little bit of everything to see where they fit in, and they are not bothered by contradictions, uncertainty, or ambiguity. A faith that that does not effectively address life's current issues seems out of tune with a generation asking big questions, expressing their doubts, and searching for their significance. Diverse lifestyles, family structures, casual sex, and drug abuse are just a few of the issues that I can think of that plague our young people today. Christianity seems really out of touch with confronting these issues. Sure, the christian faith is known for taking a stand against being immoral, but young people have significant needs that push the boundaries of conventional lifestyles. Why is this important and why should people that profess to be christians care? We should care because if we push it aside, we will fail to connect with a younger generation. We are responsible if we fail to represent a holy, just, and loving God. I believe that all people should own up to and be accountable to change the negative image that christianity has, and not just view it as a negative perception that we can do nothing about. We can do something. We can stop walking around projecting self-importance, making others feel minimized if they are outside of our faith. In scripture, God shows little or no use for people who walk around acting like they have it all together. We can stop being judgmental and hypocritical, insensitive to other people's needs, and talking words that are confusing to them. I am not suggesting that we portray the image of Jesus as a big-hearted, open-minded hippie that tried to be friends with everyone. He taught tough truths about human beings and their sin. Reshaping the gospel in order to not offend people or promoting a less offensive faith as a response to objections is not the right way to change the reputation of christianity. Honestly, my suggestion is to stop trying to convert everyone as if we are in an exclusive social club, and start listening. Find out who people are before you start pushing your belief system onto them. Try to understand where people are coming from and why they are in the situations they are in before you go handing out advice on how they can make their lives better. The reason people don't want to follow Christ is because they have seen for themselves, those who follow Christ outwardly, but not inwardly. Where did we go wrong? How can we put the enduring truth of love into practice in our lives and in our churches? Are we waiting on the world to change, or are we passionate enough about Jesus to change the world?