A Celebration

Abigail just turned two. I can't believe that she has been a part of our lives for two whole years. When we first brought her home from the hospital, I kept thinking to myself, "am I ever going to get my life back?" Now, I sit in amazement every day and wonder if life gets any better than this. She is such an awesome kid. She loves jesus. She loves to pray. She loves to scream. She loves to sing and dance and make up songs about herself. The other day, I was watching her with her new baby doll that she got for her birthday. She was putting a blanket over it and feeding it a bottle. She kept saying, "don't cry baby, it's okay." I had to turn my head so that I wouldn't laugh out loud from watching her. It was really sweet to see that she is already very nurturing. She hurts when others hurt. If she see you crying, she'll come and give you a hug. She says hello to people everywhere we go, so much that it's hard to stay strangers. She has memorized everyone's name in our church so that she can say hello to them every Sunday morning. It means a lot to people and they tell her. They tell her that they appreciate her and they tell her that she is a blessing. I think that my daughter is doing an excellent job in cultivating a spirit of community where we live. Mike and I are trying hard to follow her example.

Easter: The Passover Lamb

If we all are sinners, then each one of us needs a Redeemer. It means that man is not the “end-all-be-all” or the “center” of the all that is. It also means that we are special and unique and that God wants a relationship with us. It means there are absolutes and standards after all. A lot of people do not want to believe in such things.
Last night, Mike and I were watching the movie, The Passion of the Christ, which we have both seen dozens of times. What was strange though, is how it struck me this particular time. I was faced with the reality of the movie, and found new meaning in it's symbolism that I have never noticed before. For example, Simon declares to the crowd that he is the innocent man forced to carry the cross of this criminal. Yet by the time Simon reaches the top of Calvary, he realizes that Christ is the innocent man and that our sins are the cause for these events. We relate to Simon because many times in our own lives we are “forced” to carry the “cross” of unemployment or health disorders or family crises. We do not want to be burdened with these sufferings. Yet after bearing our cross, we learn more about who we are as persons and how we are there to help others through their difficult times.
What struck me more than anything was the flashback of Jesus falling as a child and the anguish Mary felt as she tried to protect Him from the pain. This stirred inside of me, the raw emotion of a mother’s love for her child. I began to think of Abigail and how much God loves her more than I ever could. It was nearly impossible to imagine that truth. This emotion is conveyed throughout the movie in Mary right up to the end when she holds the body of Christ at the foot of the cross. I was amazed at her ability to perform this role in the movie.
When juxtaposed with the purpose of Christ’s suffering and death to redeem mankind, there had to be the blood. Only this blood was a cleansing blood. This blood was the blood of the Passover lamb covering the lintels and doorposts of those who would be saved. This blood was the blood of the New Covenant, which would be poured out for remission of sins. Indeed the Book of Revelation speaks of the saints whose robes were washed in the blood of the Lamb. As if to remind us of the preciousness of His blood, there is the scene during which Mary is on her hands and knees wiping up His blood after the scourging. The symbolism is profound and troubling at the same time.

Psalm 127:3-5

I was sitting with Abigail as she opened up her Christmas presents and I began to reflect on what it means to be truly grateful. She is so wonderful. She is excited all the time. Life hasn't gotten hard for her yet. Life hasn't beaten her up with experiences. A boy has never broken her heart. She doesn't have any bad memories that she tries not to think about. She is the happiest little person that I know. And she makes me happy. Whenever I reflect on these blessings, I thank God. I thank Him for changing my life by allowing me to be a part of hers. And I think to myself, "Lord Jesus, please help me, so I don't mess this up".
As she grows, I find myself taken back by her constant discoveries of the world. She reminds me daily, to remember what it's like to be a child. She reminds me to be free when I give love, to not withhold it, but embrace it instead. Thank you, Lord, for my family. Psalm 127:3-5 "Behold, children are a gift of the LORD. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them."

Marriage Counseling 101

As Mike and I were driving home from a picnic today, he informed me that in the next week or so, we were going to be doing some marriage counseling. A young couple in our church is getting married in October. The first thought that came to my mind was a question. That question was this: How does one counsel someone who is about to get married?

Do I tell them to run for the hills because marriage is really hard work and at one point or another, one of them may want to get out of it? What tools can we give them as husband and wife that will help them to build a solid foundation not only at the beginning, but one that will transform and last throughout their lives? I've pondered these questions and these are the answers that I came up with.

First of all, know that my marriage has tested me. I have found on many occasions, that Mike and I have opposing needs, desires, perspectives, and we are both self-centered. No matter how hard we try to, we cannot love each other perfectly. I do believe that love really does cover a multitude of sins. I do believe that perfect love can exist. My only problem is that it is so very hard to love that way. Still, while we can't love perfectly, we can choose to give up whatever it is at any given time that is causing us to stumble in our attitudes. It is our responsibility once we are married, to perservere, to keep moving forward and press on towards our heavenly call in Christ Jesus.

I have also discovered that forgiving never comes naturally to me. I have to work really hard at it. I have always felt that people should pay for the wrong that they have done, myself included. I have always thought that I was right in thinking that way too, that it was my good sense of fairness. But now I have come to find that particular way of thinking to be unbiblical. My bible says that Love keeps no record of wrongs. Forgiveness is God's invention, not mine. It's how we come to terms with an unfair world in which people hurt each other deeply. Forgiving is love's power to break nature's rule. Forgiving is love's toughest work and it's biggest risk. Sometimes we twist it into something that it was never meant to be by making ourselves the doormat or the manipulator.

I have to be faithful, forgiving, and I have to extend mercy to my husband not only because I love him, but because my relationship with God began when HE forgave me.

What can we do about all the bumps and bruises? What can we do to make sure that we won't give up? We can start by accepting that hurt feelings are a part of marriage and family life. We can also acknowledge our own imperfections first before we acknowledge our spouses. We can always refuse to nurture feelings of self-pity, resentment, ot dissatisfaction. We can know that these things are not going to be easy.

Mike and I have learned and are still continuing to learn to ease our conflicts through improved communication. Once we find the right way to express our emotions appropriately, we learn and practice the art of apology on a daily basis.

The Lord faithfully loves my husband and is working in him for HIS good. When I am upset, I try to remember that. Instead of seeking control, I look for God's handiwork in every moment and I pray. I see God's awesome hand of power in every stage of our lives so far, whether painful or pleasurable. God's love for my family exceeds my highest expectations, my biggest hopes, and all of my desires. When challenges come our way, so does grace and wisdom.

So, I guess that brings to mind that same question. What do you tell someone who is about to get married? The answer: Put God first. Place your hopes in HIM alone. The relationships that HE blesses us with are worth nurturing, protecting, improving, honoring, praying for, celebrating, encouraging, appreciating, paying attention to, and most of all, enjoying.

Time Well Wasted

Mike has started a sermon series about time. He challenged the congregation to prioritize, and move God to the forefront of their daily lives by giving Him their time. The bible tells us in Matthew 6:33 about priorities. It says,
"Seek first God's kingdom and God's righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well."
This begged me to ask the question: Is there such a thing as time well wasted?
Those that are close to us know that Mike has very poor time management skills and he is often distracted when he needs to be focused. In his challenge to the congregation, I saw his great need to challenge himself to do the very same things that he was asking of them. I know that he desires to make better use of the time he has been given, but it just sometimes doesn't work out that way for whatever reason. Back to the previous question: Is there such a thing as time well wasted? I think we have a choice. We can choose to live for today and not worry about what tomorrow might bring. And although living in the moment may sound nice, it's not very practical for most people. To most, it sounds impulsive and flighty in nature. We know that we have to work and earn an income in order to support ourselves, but what else do we really HAVE to do? Some people think that time is relative to productivity, which is not necessarily true. Some think in terms of money or numbers. Some people can't sit, they can't take time because there isn't enough so they have to go, go, go and do, do, do.
Scripture also tells us this:
"Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit"; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say,"If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that." But now you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin." James 4:13-17.
What does this mean to you? To me, it means that even though I am vapor in the wind, I am to leave my mark while I am here because I won't be here for long. I think this is God's way of telling us that old familiar saying that life is too short. We are here today and gone tomorrow. Those of us that have lost someone that we care for, know that all too well. Studies have shown that a high number of people spend their time worrying and their lives are ridden with different anxieties. Those same studies show that the average person worries about things that never even happen. What a waste of time.
With that said, how do we make sure we spend our time wisely and effectively? How do we make sure that we are good stewards of the time that we have been given?
The answer: we seek Him first.

Two Alike

Prov 31:26-28

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.

She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children rise up and call her blessed;

NKJV

The Seed

As I was sitting here this morning, I got a phone call that a girl in our church just had her baby. As I praised God for her, I began to reflect on Abigail and her first birthday just passing and how life and creation is just amazing and wonderful to me.
He said, "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you shall bring forth children." Prior to their separation from God, it appears that the birth of every human child was going to be an extraordinary celebration of significance and joy. Each new human was to be built within the body of the woman, fashioned by God's design that she carried within. I am in awe that God our Creator, chose for women to retain the power of life. And although it was originally given to her, that power was compromised. Even though Eve sold her birthright so to speak, God has never removed this power of life. We as women, still carry the Seed.
Women want in. They want into the heart of the matter, into the decision making, into the conversation. This is from God. For as a man's helpmate, she was designed to be involved, valued, and cherished. Eve's desire ruled over her will to obey God. But God promised that the situation would not remain this way forever. There is the promise of redemption. Eve was built to help Adam accomplish the will of God. God said that the child built within the body of a woman would destroy the works and power of Satan's dominion. When I read this, I believe that it was the first prophecy of a coming Messiah, the Seed of the woman, who would restore all things. What Jesus did with the samaritan woman, He wants to do with all of God's daughters. He wants to restore their voices. The daughter of a lion is also a lion.

Walking with Daddy

Proverbs 20:7

The righteous man walks in
his integrity; His children are

blessed after him.

NKJV

Psalms 127:3-5

Today, we went to visit our friend Amy at the hospital. She just had her baby boy and she named him Jacob. We couldn't take Abigail back into the room because the hospital here does not allow visitors in the birthing center under the age of twelve unless they are immediate family. So Mike sat with Abigail in the waiting room while I went back to see Amy. As I sat there on the recliner holding that precious little life in my arms, I tried to think back ten months ago. Funny thing though, I almost can't remember Abigail being so small and helpless. She was though. She was smaller than Jacob actually. I unwrapped his bundled blanket from around him so I could see his little fingers and toes. He took a deep breath and let out a big boy sized yawn. He didn't open his eyes the whole time I held him, he just rested peacefully. Absolutely adorable.

When I got back out into the waiting room, there was my bouncing baby girl, making all the noise she could conjure up, and grinning ear to ear. She looked at me with her bright blue eyes as if I had been gone for days and she was just so happy to see me. She is growing fast, trying to walk by herself and in the process, obtaining more bumps and bruises than I can count. I sat down with her and she sat up on my lap and gave me a slobbery kiss. Absolutely adorable.

Song of Solomon

The Song of Solomon is a love song written by Solomon and abounding in metaphors and oriental imagery. Historically, it depicts the wooing and wedding of a shepherdess by King Solomon, and the joys and heartaches of wedded love. It pictures Israel as God's betrothed bride and the church as the bride of Christ. As human life finds it's highest fulfillment in the love of man and woman, so spiritual life finds it's highest fulfillment in the love of God for His people and Christ for His church. The book is arranged like scenes in a drama with three main speakers: the bride (Shulamite), the king (the Beloved), and the chorus (daughters of Jerusalem). Mike is starting a sermon series on the love of God. This morning as the Lord spoke through him to deliver that message of His love, I found my mind wandering. Maybe it was because the Song of Solomon is so descriptive, or maybe it was just my Savior beckoning me to discover a part of Him that I have not yet experienced. My heart just felt satisfied as much as it is humanly possible, to know that God is waiting patiently for me to pursue Him. I closed my eyes and I pictured myself as Mike read the scriptures, running through the forest like a little child chasing after Him. It was a game of "hide and seek" and that kind of belly laughter that takes away your breath in a good way. As Mike went on describing how Solomon invites the bride into his chambers where the most intimate moments are shared, I realized more than ever that our relationship with our Beloved is to be treasured. I have a vivid imagination, but it was very real at that moment and I felt special and wanted by the Lord. "Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; For love is as strong as death, jealousy as cruel as the grave; its flames are flames of fire, a most vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench love, nor can the floods drown it. If a man would give for his love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly despised."

What is the Immutability of God?

The immutability of God (that He does not change) is clearly taught throughout Scripture in countless passages. For example, in Malachi 3:6 God affirms, "I, the Lord, do not change." (See also Numbers 23:19; 1 Samuel 15:29; Isaiah 46:9-11; Ezekiel 24:14.)
James 1:17 tells us, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness nor shadow of turning.” The shadow of turning refers to the sun which eclipses, and turns, and casts its shadow. It rises and sets, appears and disappears every day; and it comes out of one tropic, and enters into another at certain seasons of the year. But with God, who is light, there is no darkness at all, there is no change, nor anything like it. He is unchangeable in His nature, perfections, purposes, promises, and gifts. He being Holy, cannot turn to that which is evil; nor can He, who is the fountain of light, be the cause of darkness, and since every good and perfect gift comes from Him, evil cannot proceed from Him, nor does He tempt anyone to evil. The Bible is very clear that God does not change, neither His mind, His will, nor His nature.
Seen from a logical viewpoint, there are several reasons why it is impossible for God to change. First, if anything changes it must do so in some chronological order. There must be a point in time before the change and a point in time after the change. Therefore, for change to take place it must happen within the constraints of time; however, God is eternal and exists outside of the constraints of time (Psalm 33:11; Psalm 41:13; Psalm 90:2-4; John 17:5; 2 Timothy 1:9).
Second, if anything changes it must change for the better or the worse, because a change that makes no difference is not a change. For change to take place, either something that is needed is added, which is a change for the better, or something that is needed is lost, which is a change for the worse. But since God is perfect, He does not need anything. Therefore, He cannot change for the better. If God were to lose something, He would not be perfect; therefore, He cannot change for the worse.
Third, when someone changes his/her mind, it is often because new information has come to light that was not previously known, or the circumstances have changed that require a different kind of attitude or action. Because God is omniscient, He cannot learn something new that He did not already know. So, when the Bible speaks of God changing His mind, it must be understood that the circumstance or situation has changed, not God. So when Exodus 32:14 and 1 Samuel 15:11-29 talk about God changing His mind, it is simply describing a change of dispensation, and outward dealings, toward man.
Numbers 23:19 is very clear, “God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should change His mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill?” No, God does not change His mind. These verses affirm the doctrine of God’s immutability: He is unchanging and unchangeable.

A Word of Advice

On August 12, 2006, Michael and I were married. We could not have asked for better circumstances under which to hold such an event. The location was perfect, the butterflies accompanied us, and the LORD settled there to watch two of His children devote their lives to Him and to each other. The end of our reception concluded with a circle of prayer from dear friends wanting to wish us well. One of those very dear friends looked at us and said, "do you want to know how to make your marriage last?" We looked at one another in agreement as he told us his answer. His words were: Put God first, and favor each other. I thought for a minute, how simple that sounded. Over the course of this last year, that has not only proven to be the best advice we received, but also the most difficult. Marriage is work. Not only are we thrust into a new living situation with someone we have never co-habitated with, we are also forced to pretend as if we are happy changing our habits to adjust (for the other persons sake, of course). I have learned through it all, that even the foulest moods can be softened by favor. For example, when I am making dinner, I'll give Mike the bigger piece of chicken because I know he's hungry. He let's me have the last Pepsi, even if he wants it. He opens the door for me and pulls out my chair. At night when I climb into our freshly made bed, I pull the covers down on his side. It's my way of saying that I can't wait to fall asleep next to him. These things may seem simple to some people, but we've had to try. There are many times that we both want to be selfish, and let's face it, sometimes we are. But everyday, we put God first, and then we try to put each other before ourselves. In June, we were given a joyful gift from God and we call her Abigail. She needs our attention almost constantly. We are blessed with His grace each and every morning, just to wake up and spend time with her. We both know that she is only on loan to us because she belongs to the LORD and we want to love her as much as we can. It's harder to spend time alone with each other now, but we find ways to favor each other through her. The truth is, she has brought us closer to each other, and closer to the realization that we need our Jesus now more than ever. She has brought us closer than we have ever been. Now, our priorities have changed for the better. That word of advice is a continued reminder when I get frustrated, a word of truth that helps me realize how thankful I am.