We spent the weekend visiting our families in Columbus. It's tough to pack up a seven month old and a husband and drive them for three hours. I have learned since the birth of our daughter, to over pack no matter how long we expect to be gone. Maybe one day, when we have perfected the act of being good stewards with the Lord's financial provision, we will be able to afford for ourselves, a family vehicle. Then we won't find ourselves feeling like we are in the cockpit of an airplane every time we travel. Don't misunderstand, I am thankful for even having the means necessary to even get home to see friends and family. Abigail travels well too, and for that, we are also very thankful. She usually plays quietly or sleeps, and on the occasion, will hold her own bottle while I am driving if she gets hungry. As I was driving back, I started thinking to myself how hard it is to be away from family and friends that we love so dearly. My sister-in-law once told me that she knows that our hearts are knit together, so it makes it okay. The friends that have been such a huge part of my life, they might as well be family because I care for them just as much. Adjusting to a new home and meeting new people is hard, and I miss the comforts of being right down the street from those people who I am so familiar with. I miss having coffee with Sandy on her front porch. I miss Mike's mom and Karen stopping by to see us because they only live five minutes away. I miss going to the lake with my mom and listening to her complain about how no fish are biting, but she's content anyway because the sun is shining. I miss having the fellowship with the girls in my small group Bible study, because no matter how hard I try, I can never recreate those relationships again. I miss being near those I trust to hold our family up in prayer because they care for us. We have immersed ourselves into this new life and though I know it's the will of God, I can't help but be reminded of how much I miss where we come from. From time to time I wonder how long we will stay here in Wintersville. Sometimes I have to convince myself that it's not just a job that we are here for. Tonight, I talked to an old friend on the phone that I haven't talked to in a very long time. I enjoyed our conversation immensely, as we talked about our children and how they are changing. Our relationship had changed too. Time apart has changed our lives completely. Now, we both have husbands and babies. I guess what I miss the most is that familiar comfort that I got when I was going to see someone I loved to spend time with. When Mike and I travel home with Abigail every now and then, that feeling of comfort comes back and I want to hold onto it as long as I can. I hope one day, to have that comfort here. I know what the Bible says about what I am feeling. When the apostle Paul is writing his thank yous to the people at Phillipi, he says, "not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to be abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and hungry, both to abound and suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." What this says to me, is that I am a work in progress.
I am sinking in the river that is raging
