Love, Rescue Me

Love, rescue me

Come forth and speak to me

Raise me up and don't let me fall

No man is my enemy

My own hands imprison me

Love, rescue me

Many strangers I have met

On the road to my regret

Many lost who seek to find themselves in me

They ask me to reveal

The very thoughts they would conceal

Love, rescue me

And the sun in the sky

Makes a shadow of you and I

Stretching out as the sun sinks in the sea

I am here without a name

In the palace of my shame

Love, rescue me

In the cold mirror of a glass

I see my reflection pass

See the dark shades of what I used to be

See the purple of her eyes

The scarlet of my lies

Love, rescue me

Say

This blog post is for a friend of mine. They know who they are.

Say

Take all of your wasted honor

Every little past frustration

Take all of your so-called problems

better put them in quotations

Say what you need to say...

Walking like a one man army

Fighting with the shadows in your head

Living out the same old moment

Knowing you'd be better off instead

If you could only...

Say what you need to say.

Have no fear for giving in

Have no fear for giving over

You'd better know that in the end

It's better to say too much

Than never say what you need to say again

So even if your hands are shaking

and your faith is broken

Even as the eyes are closing

Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say.

A Celebration

Abigail just turned two. I can't believe that she has been a part of our lives for two whole years. When we first brought her home from the hospital, I kept thinking to myself, "am I ever going to get my life back?" Now, I sit in amazement every day and wonder if life gets any better than this. She is such an awesome kid. She loves jesus. She loves to pray. She loves to scream. She loves to sing and dance and make up songs about herself. The other day, I was watching her with her new baby doll that she got for her birthday. She was putting a blanket over it and feeding it a bottle. She kept saying, "don't cry baby, it's okay." I had to turn my head so that I wouldn't laugh out loud from watching her. It was really sweet to see that she is already very nurturing. She hurts when others hurt. If she see you crying, she'll come and give you a hug. She says hello to people everywhere we go, so much that it's hard to stay strangers. She has memorized everyone's name in our church so that she can say hello to them every Sunday morning. It means a lot to people and they tell her. They tell her that they appreciate her and they tell her that she is a blessing. I think that my daughter is doing an excellent job in cultivating a spirit of community where we live. Mike and I are trying hard to follow her example.

Growing Up... Abigail

Abigail speaks very well. Sometimes I forget how little she is because she sounds like a ten year old when she talks. Tonight, we were walking home from church and she pointed at the sunset and said, "Jesus made that for us Mommy." Some time ago, someone in Sunday school taught her that God lives up in the sky (which by the way, I don't quite agree with) so I told her that God lives in her heart. So, tonight when she stopped to stare at the sky, I asked her what she thought of all the warm colors. She said, "that sure is a big house." It took me by surprise when she said it because I wasn't sure if I understood it correctly. I kind of chuckled and she grabbed my thumb and said, "c'mon Mommy, I open the door." Mike had given her the keys to the house and she had them in her hand. When we got into the house, Abigail got her bath and we brushed her hair. She also loves to sit on our bathroom counter and brush her teeth. When we got done, we prayed. Not because it was bedtime, but because we had a good day today. And we had a good conversation about the sunset. I wanted to thank God for making it. So did she. When we were done praying, she said, " Thank you Jesus, Amen."

Easter: The Passover Lamb

If we all are sinners, then each one of us needs a Redeemer. It means that man is not the “end-all-be-all” or the “center” of the all that is. It also means that we are special and unique and that God wants a relationship with us. It means there are absolutes and standards after all. A lot of people do not want to believe in such things.
Last night, Mike and I were watching the movie, The Passion of the Christ, which we have both seen dozens of times. What was strange though, is how it struck me this particular time. I was faced with the reality of the movie, and found new meaning in it's symbolism that I have never noticed before. For example, Simon declares to the crowd that he is the innocent man forced to carry the cross of this criminal. Yet by the time Simon reaches the top of Calvary, he realizes that Christ is the innocent man and that our sins are the cause for these events. We relate to Simon because many times in our own lives we are “forced” to carry the “cross” of unemployment or health disorders or family crises. We do not want to be burdened with these sufferings. Yet after bearing our cross, we learn more about who we are as persons and how we are there to help others through their difficult times.
What struck me more than anything was the flashback of Jesus falling as a child and the anguish Mary felt as she tried to protect Him from the pain. This stirred inside of me, the raw emotion of a mother’s love for her child. I began to think of Abigail and how much God loves her more than I ever could. It was nearly impossible to imagine that truth. This emotion is conveyed throughout the movie in Mary right up to the end when she holds the body of Christ at the foot of the cross. I was amazed at her ability to perform this role in the movie.
When juxtaposed with the purpose of Christ’s suffering and death to redeem mankind, there had to be the blood. Only this blood was a cleansing blood. This blood was the blood of the Passover lamb covering the lintels and doorposts of those who would be saved. This blood was the blood of the New Covenant, which would be poured out for remission of sins. Indeed the Book of Revelation speaks of the saints whose robes were washed in the blood of the Lamb. As if to remind us of the preciousness of His blood, there is the scene during which Mary is on her hands and knees wiping up His blood after the scourging. The symbolism is profound and troubling at the same time.

Part The Waters

I'm tired of fighting battles. I am tired of the heap of unrealistic expectations that have been thrust upon me and my family. I am worn out. This is my prayer:

When I think I'm going under, part the waters Lord.
When I feel the waves around me, calm the sea.
When I cry for help, oh, hear me Lord, hold out Your hand,
Touch my life, and still the raging storm in me.

Abigail is...

Abigail is:
My goodness…simply beautiful…the stealer of the covers in the morning…the one who makes me smile…the puddle of yucky pee on the kitchen floor…the destroyer of a clean house in less than three minutes…the one hiding behind the shower curtain…the first to say, “amen”…a light in a dark place…the one with the sense of humor…an encouragement…the gardener...my favorite….at peace with herself…her Father’s joy…blessed…a ticklish little girl…fragile…grace…spinning, laughing, dancing to her favorite song…louder and louder…a lover of purses and mommy’s shoes…a prophetess…a helper with the laundry…a snotty nose…sticky fingers…sorry for hitting…a colorful artist on brand new clothes…a gift from God…a funny face…a bump on the forehead whenever it’s picture time…a lover of books and music…a worshiper…a lover of French fries even when they’re cold…highly favored…a fearless couch jumper…constantly loving…cranky at bedtime…one who is cherished…a world of new discovery…earnestly seeking…a good girl…a lover of pink toenail polish…flourishing…nurturing…delightful….a comedian…a crown to grandma’s and grandpa’s…a precious life…delivered…saved by the power of love…an answered prayer…a beloved child…growing up

too fast.