A Celebration

Abigail just turned two. I can't believe that she has been a part of our lives for two whole years. When we first brought her home from the hospital, I kept thinking to myself, "am I ever going to get my life back?" Now, I sit in amazement every day and wonder if life gets any better than this. She is such an awesome kid. She loves jesus. She loves to pray. She loves to scream. She loves to sing and dance and make up songs about herself. The other day, I was watching her with her new baby doll that she got for her birthday. She was putting a blanket over it and feeding it a bottle. She kept saying, "don't cry baby, it's okay." I had to turn my head so that I wouldn't laugh out loud from watching her. It was really sweet to see that she is already very nurturing. She hurts when others hurt. If she see you crying, she'll come and give you a hug. She says hello to people everywhere we go, so much that it's hard to stay strangers. She has memorized everyone's name in our church so that she can say hello to them every Sunday morning. It means a lot to people and they tell her. They tell her that they appreciate her and they tell her that she is a blessing. I think that my daughter is doing an excellent job in cultivating a spirit of community where we live. Mike and I are trying hard to follow her example.

Growing Up... Abigail

Abigail speaks very well. Sometimes I forget how little she is because she sounds like a ten year old when she talks. Tonight, we were walking home from church and she pointed at the sunset and said, "Jesus made that for us Mommy." Some time ago, someone in Sunday school taught her that God lives up in the sky (which by the way, I don't quite agree with) so I told her that God lives in her heart. So, tonight when she stopped to stare at the sky, I asked her what she thought of all the warm colors. She said, "that sure is a big house." It took me by surprise when she said it because I wasn't sure if I understood it correctly. I kind of chuckled and she grabbed my thumb and said, "c'mon Mommy, I open the door." Mike had given her the keys to the house and she had them in her hand. When we got into the house, Abigail got her bath and we brushed her hair. She also loves to sit on our bathroom counter and brush her teeth. When we got done, we prayed. Not because it was bedtime, but because we had a good day today. And we had a good conversation about the sunset. I wanted to thank God for making it. So did she. When we were done praying, she said, " Thank you Jesus, Amen."

Abigail is...

Abigail is:
My goodness…simply beautiful…the stealer of the covers in the morning…the one who makes me smile…the puddle of yucky pee on the kitchen floor…the destroyer of a clean house in less than three minutes…the one hiding behind the shower curtain…the first to say, “amen”…a light in a dark place…the one with the sense of humor…an encouragement…the gardener...my favorite….at peace with herself…her Father’s joy…blessed…a ticklish little girl…fragile…grace…spinning, laughing, dancing to her favorite song…louder and louder…a lover of purses and mommy’s shoes…a prophetess…a helper with the laundry…a snotty nose…sticky fingers…sorry for hitting…a colorful artist on brand new clothes…a gift from God…a funny face…a bump on the forehead whenever it’s picture time…a lover of books and music…a worshiper…a lover of French fries even when they’re cold…highly favored…a fearless couch jumper…constantly loving…cranky at bedtime…one who is cherished…a world of new discovery…earnestly seeking…a good girl…a lover of pink toenail polish…flourishing…nurturing…delightful….a comedian…a crown to grandma’s and grandpa’s…a precious life…delivered…saved by the power of love…an answered prayer…a beloved child…growing up

too fast.

Psalm 127:3-5

I was sitting with Abigail as she opened up her Christmas presents and I began to reflect on what it means to be truly grateful. She is so wonderful. She is excited all the time. Life hasn't gotten hard for her yet. Life hasn't beaten her up with experiences. A boy has never broken her heart. She doesn't have any bad memories that she tries not to think about. She is the happiest little person that I know. And she makes me happy. Whenever I reflect on these blessings, I thank God. I thank Him for changing my life by allowing me to be a part of hers. And I think to myself, "Lord Jesus, please help me, so I don't mess this up".
As she grows, I find myself taken back by her constant discoveries of the world. She reminds me daily, to remember what it's like to be a child. She reminds me to be free when I give love, to not withhold it, but embrace it instead. Thank you, Lord, for my family. Psalm 127:3-5 "Behold, children are a gift of the LORD. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them."

June 16, 2008

Walking with Daddy

Proverbs 20:7

The righteous man walks in
his integrity; His children are

blessed after him.

NKJV

The Artist

For the last week and a half, we have been on our very first family vacation. We decided to go to Tennessee to visit Uncle Frank and Aunt Peggy. They have never had the opportunity to meet Miss Abigail. As a matter of fact, last time we spent time with them, she was still in my belly.

We just had the most wonderful time with them and we are so thankful to God for their generosity and love. I have never met such giving people and we love them so much. On Thursday, we took a drive out to an orchard that belonged to a man that Uncle Frank knew so that we could pick some sour cherries off the trees and make pie. I know that personally, I was awestruck by the LORD's hand that day. HE is truly the artist, a master painter and creator. He is GOD and I am not, and I realized that more than ever as we drove up the drive and saw the orchard, the house, trees, and grapevines that HE had given to this man's care. Everything was so natural and beautiful.

I was excited for Abigail as she had her first experience of eating an apple right off the tree that she hand picked for herself. She ate some cherries too. She sat in the shade under the cherry trees as we picked and ate, and all for free. We could not have prayed and asked for a nicer day, or to spend it any other way with anyone else. It was perfect. I am just in awe of my Jesus.

Happy Mother's Day

My mom has a plaque on her wall that reads: "A mother holds her children's hands for awhile, and their hearts forever." On May 10th, I celebrated my first Mother's Day. Actually, I was pregnant last Mother's Day, but I figure since she wasn't born yet then it doesn't count. I think it's funny how people devote an entire day to the celebration of one particular person or thing. This year will be Mike's second Father's Day because Abigail was born on June 16th, one day before Father's Day. He likes to joke that he has one up on me. As I sit here and write this post, Abigail is eating her cheerios that she dumped out onto the floor, in between her bouts of babbling. I'm glad I ran the sweeper today. It seems as though being a mother has turned out to mean so many different things that I become overwhelmed at times. Not really overwhelmed at all the things I have to do, more like overwhelmed at the thought of this little person that can't rely on herself at all. Instead, she looks to us to feed her, bathe her, play with her, protect her, and love her. I think about how she's not just going to understand things on her own, that we have to teach her. That may sound like a simple thought, and for those people who are already parents and have been for awhile, they've probably thought the same thing at one point or another. It doesn't matter how many times I tell her that she can't climb up on the bookshelves because she does it anyway. She's also had two black eyes, numerous finger cuts, and last week her face looked like she got attacked by a wolverine. Still, she remains fearless. As for me, sometimes I feel like I may have a heart attack because of her fearlessness. I guess that's all just part of being a mother so to speak. What amazes me the most is God's grace through this season of our lives. We've prayed countless times for wisdom and understanding in the ways of parenting. We've prayed that our times of trial and error would not be harmful, but a learning experience. I know I see His grace the most when I am tired and frustrated with Abigail and she starts crying. I run to pick her up and comfort her because she needs that. His grace is enough in those moments, to calm me and bring things back into perspective...at least until the next time. I look at her, and I know that I can do this "mom thing". I look at her, and I see what happiness is.

Psalms 127:3-5

Today, we went to visit our friend Amy at the hospital. She just had her baby boy and she named him Jacob. We couldn't take Abigail back into the room because the hospital here does not allow visitors in the birthing center under the age of twelve unless they are immediate family. So Mike sat with Abigail in the waiting room while I went back to see Amy. As I sat there on the recliner holding that precious little life in my arms, I tried to think back ten months ago. Funny thing though, I almost can't remember Abigail being so small and helpless. She was though. She was smaller than Jacob actually. I unwrapped his bundled blanket from around him so I could see his little fingers and toes. He took a deep breath and let out a big boy sized yawn. He didn't open his eyes the whole time I held him, he just rested peacefully. Absolutely adorable.

When I got back out into the waiting room, there was my bouncing baby girl, making all the noise she could conjure up, and grinning ear to ear. She looked at me with her bright blue eyes as if I had been gone for days and she was just so happy to see me. She is growing fast, trying to walk by herself and in the process, obtaining more bumps and bruises than I can count. I sat down with her and she sat up on my lap and gave me a slobbery kiss. Absolutely adorable.

Sing A New Song

I've noticed that Abigail seems to have an appreciation for music. When she hears a song that she likes, she sways or bounces. She also stands up at the table and moves her legs as if she is showing us how she can dance. She has an incredibly surprising sense of rhythm too, which I don't mind saying is definitely inherited. This past weekend, we attended a church service in Grove City, and she was raising her hands and clapping. She gets so excited and it makes me smile to watch her learn new things. On our way back home, she sang along to The Temptations and Sam Cooke. She has a little piano that she pounds on every so often and she is very interested in getting ahold of Mike's guitar. Actually, she's interested in getting ahold of everything these days.

Abigail

Today, I took Abigail shopping with me. She is usually very well behaved when we go places. She is still little enough to where she doesn't want everything she can see. She also keeps herself occupied most of the time with people watching. She is friendly, and she smiles at everyone and does her parade wave. I never realized how babies attract people. Most of the time, people comment on how fat her cheeks are, or how alert she is. I guess I never knew much about babies before I had my own. Now everywhere we go, Abigail points at other babies, so I automatically get all google-eyed over them. Mike and I have been talking about whether or not we are ready to have another baby. Even as a newborn, Abigail had a wonderful temperament and she has always slept through the night. With the exception of the first two weeks of her life, we have never really experienced the dreaded sleep deprivation that comes along with having a newborn. Sometimes I wonder if I'll miss those important moments in her life if I am tied up with another new baby. Everyone told us when she was born that before we knew it, she would grow up. Even though she is only nine months old, that time has gone by so fast. I look at her and wonder what she'll want to be when she grows up. I wonder if she will like art and music the way that Mike and I do, or if she'll play sports instead. Or maybe she'll invent something or change the world. My hopes and dreams for her go far beyond what words or imagination can dream up. And from what I know of little Miss Abigail, I know she'll never cease to amaze us.

Food For Thought

Mike and I are excited about planting a garden this spring. We have been talking about growing our own food for a long time, and now that it is starting to get a little warmer outside, we can do it. I am not really educated about growing food, but I know I like food so I am hoping that it will prove to be more fun than difficult. What I am most excited about is showing Abigail how to help us. Currently, we make all of her food at home instead of buying baby food in a jar or box. It is less expensive and better for her since most of the food that we eat is organic or natural. We try not to eat a lot of foods that are loaded with preservatives or artificial ingredients. I know that she is eating healthy. I am hoping that she will continue this as an adult if we teach her that it is better, but for now I am just happy that she is not a picky eater. She had rolled oats for breakfast, and she had brown rice, beets, and apples for lunch. For dinner, she had half of an avocado and some milk. She seems to love eating this way and as long as she doesn't think she has an option, I will continue to feed it to her. I want her to learn how to pick her favorite foods from our garden. I want to teach her where food comes from and how to take care of nature and God's creation. I want to teach her how to cook too, and I am excited for the day she wants to make a big mess making cookies in our house. I don't see a lot of children outdoors anymore and I don't want Abigail to be like that. When I was a kid, I played outside and I got dirty. I went swimming in the lake and dug up worms for fishing, played TAG and caught fireflies. Now, most kids sit in front of the TV playing video games. They like McDonald's and Burger King. If it's processed and convenient, or if it comes in a package that they can just rip open and eat, then it saves time. That's something that we all need...more time. In conclusion, I plan to spend "more time" teaching my beloved child (children) about the wonderful things that God created, like playing in the grass and counting the stars. I will read to them about how time began...

in a garden.

Tiny Footsteps

Abigail is starting to walk. She is eight months old and ready to conquer the world, at least what she sees of it. She often falls and cries for me to come pick her up, but she keeps getting back up. She keeps trying. There's a lesson to be learned here.

A Grateful Heart

Believe it or not, some of my most intimate moments with the Lord happen when I am in Abigail's room, rocking her to sleep. Sometimes I sing to her quietly, or sometimes I whisper to her and tell her over and over how wonderful she is. But most of the the time, I pray. Tonight, I realized why my prayers in her room are different than my prayers most any other time. My prayers in her room are ALWAYS prayers of thanksgiving. I hold her and squeeze her tight, and I thank my Heavenly Father who lovingly created her. I search my heart each night for words to express how grateful I am for the life that I have with my family, and the life that He has planned for us that we don't even know about yet.

I found myself praying for her spouse tonight. No, I am not trying to rush her out of the house just yet, but I think about all of the temptations that children go through in our world today and I want her to have a husband that respects her decisions. Even if they aren't the same as his. I want her to know that she is worthy of things that are good and she doesn't have to settle for anything less than extraordinary. I even pray for her teeth to grow in straight. I know that sounds funny, but I don't want to forget about her teeth by leaving them out.

It's during these quiet times of reflection that I am reminded of what's most important. I need God's grace to get through every moment of the day. I need it in order to handle my emotions, and I need it so that I can respond in a godly manner towards my husband and daughter. Sometimes I don't always exercise my ability to be graceful, but He knows I am trying.

When I lay her down in her bed, kiss her goodnight, and leave her room, I know that He is the keeper of her health. He holds what is in her dreams, and the breath that gives her life. I haven't always prayed, but I have always needed to. Knowing this, I thank Him again...for second, third, and even fourth chances.

LIFE

Do you have children? I do. I have a beautiful seven month old daughter who loves to laugh. She is fragile, but brave at the same time. Her name is Abigail Lauren. She is feminine, fiesty, and fearless to say the least. My husband and I have been initiated into the realm of parenting and it is for certain, the most wonderful blessing that we have been given. Sometimes I stare at her and think about LIFE. I think of how she is completely dependent on Mike and I for everything that she needs and she is not a bit worried about it. I learn a lot from her. She is the most honest person that I have ever met. I don't have to remind myself that she is only going to be this little for a short period of time, and I should cherish it while the time is here. Everyday, I do my best to do just that, even when it gets tiring. She is starting to crawl. One thing is for sure, she is persistent. She tries and tries, and when she falls down, she tries again. She also knows how to get what she wants. When she is hungry, she sticks everything in sight in her mouth until I get the hint, but she doesn't often cry about it; a great sign of maturity at such a young age. When she's tired, she nuzzles up to us as if to say,"could you cuddle me to sleep now?" and we gladly do. She gets excited and her eyes grow three times their normal size, I think as a point to emphasize that when she's happy, we all should be. She likes to carry on conversations by herself too, and even though we have no idea what she's saying, she does and thats all that matters to her. I was nervous at first, to take her to church, only to discover that she was born to be an evangelist. People are drawn to her and she likes it. She greets everyone with a smile and it can brighten your whole day. To have a child is to be given the world to hold in your hands, and the entire universe to try to fit inside your heart. Sometimes, when I get frustrated, I try to remember that it must be harder for her than it is for me. It's at those times when I am most thankful for God's willingness to teach me constant mending and repairing, to guide Michael and I through. He is our source of LIFE. We are all in this together. The smiling face of our child, and the LORD's goodness and grace beyond measure, keeps us.

A Word of Advice

On August 12, 2006, Michael and I were married. We could not have asked for better circumstances under which to hold such an event. The location was perfect, the butterflies accompanied us, and the LORD settled there to watch two of His children devote their lives to Him and to each other. The end of our reception concluded with a circle of prayer from dear friends wanting to wish us well. One of those very dear friends looked at us and said, "do you want to know how to make your marriage last?" We looked at one another in agreement as he told us his answer. His words were: Put God first, and favor each other. I thought for a minute, how simple that sounded. Over the course of this last year, that has not only proven to be the best advice we received, but also the most difficult. Marriage is work. Not only are we thrust into a new living situation with someone we have never co-habitated with, we are also forced to pretend as if we are happy changing our habits to adjust (for the other persons sake, of course). I have learned through it all, that even the foulest moods can be softened by favor. For example, when I am making dinner, I'll give Mike the bigger piece of chicken because I know he's hungry. He let's me have the last Pepsi, even if he wants it. He opens the door for me and pulls out my chair. At night when I climb into our freshly made bed, I pull the covers down on his side. It's my way of saying that I can't wait to fall asleep next to him. These things may seem simple to some people, but we've had to try. There are many times that we both want to be selfish, and let's face it, sometimes we are. But everyday, we put God first, and then we try to put each other before ourselves. In June, we were given a joyful gift from God and we call her Abigail. She needs our attention almost constantly. We are blessed with His grace each and every morning, just to wake up and spend time with her. We both know that she is only on loan to us because she belongs to the LORD and we want to love her as much as we can. It's harder to spend time alone with each other now, but we find ways to favor each other through her. The truth is, she has brought us closer to each other, and closer to the realization that we need our Jesus now more than ever. She has brought us closer than we have ever been. Now, our priorities have changed for the better. That word of advice is a continued reminder when I get frustrated, a word of truth that helps me realize how thankful I am.