No Other Way

When your mind is a mess, so is mine
I can't sleep 'cause it hurts when I think
When my thoughts aren't at peace
with the plans that we make, and chances we take
They're not yours and not mine
They're just waves that can break
All the words that we say and the words that we mean
Words can fall short, they can't see the unseen
Cause the world is awake, for somebody's sake now
please close your eyes, can we please get some sleep
And know that if I knew all of the answers
I would not hold them from you
You'd know all the things that I'd know
We told each other, there is no other way
Well, too much silence it can be misleading
You're drifting, I can hear it in the way that your breathing
We don't really need to find reason
Cause out the same door that it came in, it's leaving
Leaving like a day that's done and part of a season
Resolve is just a concept that's as dead as the leaves
But at least we can sleep, it's all that we need
When we wake we will find
Our minds will be free

Philippians 4:13

I am starting school on Monday. After I finish the eight prerequisite classes at JCC needed to enroll, I will be entering Trinity School Of Nursing. Those prerequisites include Psychology, Sociology, Nutrition, Medical Terminology, Principles of Microbiology, Human Anatomy and Physiology, Business Math, and Chemistry. I must confess that I am intrigued by all of the horror stories that my friends in the nursing profession have told me, but I am not as scared as I thought I would be. When I went to campus for a webCT orientation, I got lost. When I finally made it to the right place, it seemed as though I was surrounded by a bunch of freshman that hadn't yet learned their social security numbers. Most of them had to leave the orientation to call mom. I wasn't sure if the feeling that was overwhelming me was one of being old and out of place, or just plain uncomfortable. I felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff and I was about to jump off. I fully admit that I am nervous, but I am up to the challenge and I am excited for the change and what it will bring to our family. And I know this much is true, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

What's in a Name?

ABIGAIL
(" her Father's joy").
1. The churl Nabal's beautiful wife, of Carmel. Taking on herself the blame of Nabal's insult to David's messengers, she promptly, and with a discreet woman's tact, averted David's just anger by liberally supplying the wants of his forces, and by deprecating in person at his feet the shedding of blood in vengeance. He hearkened to her prayer and accepted her person; and rejoiced at being "kept back" by her counsel from taking into his own hand, God's prerogative of vengeance (1 Sam 25:26,34,39; Rom 12:19). God did "plead His cause" against Nabal: compare the undesigned coincidence of phrase between the history and the independent psalm, a proof of genuineness: Ps 35:1,7,16; 17:4; 14:1 with 1 Sam 25:25,36-38 with Luke 12:19-21; 1 Sam 25:29; the image of a "sling, slinging out the souls of the enemy" with 1 Sam 17:49. At Nabal's death by God's visitation David made her his wife, and by her David had a son, Chileab (2 Sam 3:3), or Daniel (1 Chron 3:1), i.e. God is my judge, a name which apparently alludes to the divine judgment on Nabal. Fausset's Bible Dictionary, Electronic Database Copyright (c)1998 by Biblesoft

June 16, 2008

Marriage Counseling 101

As Mike and I were driving home from a picnic today, he informed me that in the next week or so, we were going to be doing some marriage counseling. A young couple in our church is getting married in October. The first thought that came to my mind was a question. That question was this: How does one counsel someone who is about to get married?

Do I tell them to run for the hills because marriage is really hard work and at one point or another, one of them may want to get out of it? What tools can we give them as husband and wife that will help them to build a solid foundation not only at the beginning, but one that will transform and last throughout their lives? I've pondered these questions and these are the answers that I came up with.

First of all, know that my marriage has tested me. I have found on many occasions, that Mike and I have opposing needs, desires, perspectives, and we are both self-centered. No matter how hard we try to, we cannot love each other perfectly. I do believe that love really does cover a multitude of sins. I do believe that perfect love can exist. My only problem is that it is so very hard to love that way. Still, while we can't love perfectly, we can choose to give up whatever it is at any given time that is causing us to stumble in our attitudes. It is our responsibility once we are married, to perservere, to keep moving forward and press on towards our heavenly call in Christ Jesus.

I have also discovered that forgiving never comes naturally to me. I have to work really hard at it. I have always felt that people should pay for the wrong that they have done, myself included. I have always thought that I was right in thinking that way too, that it was my good sense of fairness. But now I have come to find that particular way of thinking to be unbiblical. My bible says that Love keeps no record of wrongs. Forgiveness is God's invention, not mine. It's how we come to terms with an unfair world in which people hurt each other deeply. Forgiving is love's power to break nature's rule. Forgiving is love's toughest work and it's biggest risk. Sometimes we twist it into something that it was never meant to be by making ourselves the doormat or the manipulator.

I have to be faithful, forgiving, and I have to extend mercy to my husband not only because I love him, but because my relationship with God began when HE forgave me.

What can we do about all the bumps and bruises? What can we do to make sure that we won't give up? We can start by accepting that hurt feelings are a part of marriage and family life. We can also acknowledge our own imperfections first before we acknowledge our spouses. We can always refuse to nurture feelings of self-pity, resentment, ot dissatisfaction. We can know that these things are not going to be easy.

Mike and I have learned and are still continuing to learn to ease our conflicts through improved communication. Once we find the right way to express our emotions appropriately, we learn and practice the art of apology on a daily basis.

The Lord faithfully loves my husband and is working in him for HIS good. When I am upset, I try to remember that. Instead of seeking control, I look for God's handiwork in every moment and I pray. I see God's awesome hand of power in every stage of our lives so far, whether painful or pleasurable. God's love for my family exceeds my highest expectations, my biggest hopes, and all of my desires. When challenges come our way, so does grace and wisdom.

So, I guess that brings to mind that same question. What do you tell someone who is about to get married? The answer: Put God first. Place your hopes in HIM alone. The relationships that HE blesses us with are worth nurturing, protecting, improving, honoring, praying for, celebrating, encouraging, appreciating, paying attention to, and most of all, enjoying.

A Prayer

Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio program, "The Rest of the Story", and received a larger response to this program than any other he has ever aired. With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our nation and wholeheartedly become our desire so that we again can be called "One nation under God".
"Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, "Woe to those who call evil good", but that is exactly what we have done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values. We have exploited the poor and called it lottery. We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare. We have killed our unborn and called it choice. We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable. We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self-esteem. We have abused our power and called it politics. We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition. We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression. We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment. We have become sexually deviant and called it a type of lifestyle. Search us, Oh God, and know our hearts today. Cleanse us from every sin and set us free. Amen."

Time Well Wasted

Mike has started a sermon series about time. He challenged the congregation to prioritize, and move God to the forefront of their daily lives by giving Him their time. The bible tells us in Matthew 6:33 about priorities. It says,
"Seek first God's kingdom and God's righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well."
This begged me to ask the question: Is there such a thing as time well wasted?
Those that are close to us know that Mike has very poor time management skills and he is often distracted when he needs to be focused. In his challenge to the congregation, I saw his great need to challenge himself to do the very same things that he was asking of them. I know that he desires to make better use of the time he has been given, but it just sometimes doesn't work out that way for whatever reason. Back to the previous question: Is there such a thing as time well wasted? I think we have a choice. We can choose to live for today and not worry about what tomorrow might bring. And although living in the moment may sound nice, it's not very practical for most people. To most, it sounds impulsive and flighty in nature. We know that we have to work and earn an income in order to support ourselves, but what else do we really HAVE to do? Some people think that time is relative to productivity, which is not necessarily true. Some think in terms of money or numbers. Some people can't sit, they can't take time because there isn't enough so they have to go, go, go and do, do, do.
Scripture also tells us this:
"Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit"; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say,"If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that." But now you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin." James 4:13-17.
What does this mean to you? To me, it means that even though I am vapor in the wind, I am to leave my mark while I am here because I won't be here for long. I think this is God's way of telling us that old familiar saying that life is too short. We are here today and gone tomorrow. Those of us that have lost someone that we care for, know that all too well. Studies have shown that a high number of people spend their time worrying and their lives are ridden with different anxieties. Those same studies show that the average person worries about things that never even happen. What a waste of time.
With that said, how do we make sure we spend our time wisely and effectively? How do we make sure that we are good stewards of the time that we have been given?
The answer: we seek Him first.